Get rid of these thoughts!

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    Get rid of these thoughts!

    “I can never get pregnant and have a child.”

    “I cannot start a family”

    “I am in this situation because of my previous faults. All is my fault.”

    “I am in this situation because I was preserved and did not want any child.”

    “I am punished.”

    “I start the treatment late, I should have started earlier.”

    “I am unsuccessful and faulty as both woman/man and partner.”

    What determines our feelings, our mood and how we feel is the meanings we attribute to the events and thoughts created by the events in our minds, rather than the negative events we live. According to this, we can change the thoughts and feelings we create about the events we live and remove the negative emotions (fear, worry, anxiety, sorrow etc.) which they make us feel.

    Most of the above-written thoughts are thoughts which are distorted and unrealistic. In other words, they are expressions which try to capture the mind at the moment of stress         and are not proved in terms of their accuracy. They sometimes make us believe that they are realistic so that they can enter into our lives as strongly as a belief.

    The only way to get rid of these is to change these negative thoughts with the more realistic ones and restructure them in this way. For example, the thought of “I can never get pregnant and have a child” must be restructured as more realistic like this: “I face the infertility problem now. I do everything I can about this issue. I increase the possibility of having a child by having this treatment. In addition, I must be open to other possibilities as well. I cannot foresee what future brings to me.”

    Restructuring the negative thoughts may not be always easy, so help of an expert may be necessary.

    Senior Psychologist Atiye Kaytazoğlu

     

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